“So What?”

I’m sorry that I haven’t updated my blog in such a long time.  Things have been very good – and busy – which has been an excuse not to write.  But I’ve had several things on my mind lately, and I think the overall theme ties back to the title of this blog, “So What?”

I live my life as an openly gay man.  But it took a long time to get to that point, mostly because I grew up in church and often heard how sinful man – and by reasoning, I - was.  Knowing what my inner struggles were, I equated myself with the most sinful of people.  But after years of striving and a bit of self loathing, I finally accepted and embraced who I was all along.  I felt freedom and peace for the first time.  While my struggle helped make me who I am today, I have to admit admiring - and somewhat envying – young people who embrace their true selves and come out at a young age.  What strength they must have!  I wasted time that I can’t get back.  But I accept that because it led me to where I am today.

I’ve not only been encouraged by these brave kids, but also by the “so what” attitude that so many of the kids in high school and college have, particularly when it comes to accepting their friends who are gay.  So being an optimist, I believe that it will be even better, even easier, for the kids who come after them.

But I’ve been a bit disheartened by a few recent events.  The first is the story of Constance McMillen, a Mississippi girl who asked for permission to attend the prom with her girlfriend.  To avoid having to let her attend, the school cancelled the prom, which essentially vilified her with her classmates.  So what did her classmates do?  They coordinated and attended another prom, while sending Constance, her date and a few special education students to the “rejects” prom.  I was so disappointed because these kids blew a perfect opportunity to send a powerful message of unity.

The other story is practically in my back yard.  It’s the story of Derrick Martin, an 18 year old from Cochran, GA who asked if he could attend the prom with his boyfriend.  The school made what I consider to be the right decision and said he could.  His parents, however, found out he is gay and kicked him out of the house. 

I’ve spent a bit of time, probably more than I should, wondering why these stories matter so much to me. 

First, I can relate to the feeling of not fitting in.  In junior high and high school, I was taunted for being gay long before I knew I was gay, often by kids who were nice to me privately.

Second, while I certainly understand the reality in any situation, I am also an eternally hopeful person, always hoping for the best in people.  These examples show the worst. 

Third, I think it ties back to my own struggle – and what I view as wasted years – in my own journey toward self realization and acceptance.  I was never as brave as Constance and Derrick.  And while I hurt for them, I also acknowledge the reality that progress often has a price. 

Finally, I think it has to do with my desire to understand and relate to others; to see the value of diverse thoughts, backgrounds and cultures; and the certain knoweldge that my life has been, and will be, enriched by the relationships I build with others, particularly those who are different from me.  I may not always live that, but it’s my goal.

In the last few years, I have come to realize that my decision to live as an openly gay man, and to name myself as an out gay musician, isn’t just about me.  It’s also about the folks who live in small towns where there are no gay bars or social outlets, who have no gay friends, who live lonely lives, or even those who may have a partner but still pause when asked, “What did you do this weekend?” by a boss or co-worker.  More simply, it’s also about people who just feel “different.”  (Maybe that’s why I love Glee so much.)  It is my hope that I can, in some small way, help pave the way, make it a bit easier, for those who follow behind me – just as the ones before me did.

If I ever have the opportunity to meet Constance or Derrick, I would simply want to hug them and thank them for their courage.  They are certainly braver than I’ve ever been.

As frustrating as those individual stories may be, there are many shining examples of “so what” people out there.  I am thankful for all of the “so what” people, particularly those in my life.  My hope is that there will one day be more kindness than meanness, more openess than fear, more ”Blind Sides” (I loved that movie - and the true story behind it) than bigots, more straight friends than fag haters, more appreciation for difference, for diversity. 

I commit to being the change I want to see.  Join me!

Adam Lambert – The Ego Has Landed

Adam Lambert has gotten exactly what he wanted today – countless people all over the country have been talking about his AMA performance.  I didn’t watch the AMA’s, but I watched three performances today on YouTube – his, Lady Gaga’s, and Kelly Clarkson’s.  Much to my chagrin, I’m going to give Adam what he wants and give my thoughts on his show closing performance.

As a musician, I have always avoided participating in music competitions.  To me, that’s not what music is about.  So I didn’t initially jump on the American Idol bandwagon.  But there have been a few seasons that I paid at least some attention:

• I watched the last part of the inaugural season and rooted for Kelly Clarkson
• I watched several elimination episodes until Sanjaya was voted off (yes, he annoyed me that much)
• I happened to watch Adam Lambert’s audition episode, and I watched the last half of this season

Unlike the rest of the judges, Simon was very critical of Adam at his audition, calling him too Broadway.  While I would normally have agreed, I thought Adam was THAT good of a vocalist that he could tone it down and sing basically anything he wanted to.   I was blown away.  I didn’t watch any episodes after that – for a while, at least.

But the Bert Show on Q100 gave recaps of the performance episodes each Wednesday and played song samples of the top contestants.  One song stood out to me, and it was Adam’s reading of Johnny Cash’s “Ring Of Fire.”  I am not overly familiar with  Johnny Cash’s catalog, but I thought Adam’s version was incredibly self indulgent and contrived.  It so turned me off, I wanted him voted off.  (If you want to talk about an amazing remake, watch Johnny Cash’s video to his cover of Nine Inch Nail’s “Hurt,” which is easily one of the most moving and haunting videos ever made.)

At the same time, another performer began to gain notice due to his deft song selection and interpretive skills – Kris Allen.  So I began to watch the show to actively cheer for Kris.  The fact that Kris plays acoustic guitar appealed to me – not to mention that he’s cute as hell.  I loved his versions of songs such as Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard For The Money” and Kanye West’s “Heartless”  because he made them his own while still honoring them.

Each week I wondered what song Kris would choose and how he would arrange it, and I always knew that no matter what style of song Adam chose, no matter how soft a ballad, he would find a way to stick his tongue out and yell. I was thrilled when Kris won (and yes, I bought his CD last week).  But I will also sadly acknowledge that there were probably a lot of people who voted for Kris simply to vote AGAINST Adam because he was the GAY American Idol contestant.

So the fact that I’m a gay man – and an out gay artist – leaves me feeling a bit conflicted as to why I have such strong negative feelings about Adam Lambert.  Part of me wants to cheer him for being out there and pushing boundaries.  But his performance last night, and his recent handling of the media, typifies exactly why I don’t.

Let me just say that I am not a prude.  I am not opposed to two men kissing – quite the opposite.  I am all for pushing boundaries, for creating dialogue, for promoting change and acceptance.  There are ways to do that, while still promoting art.  Adam Lambert’s AMA performance was none of that – it was simply a hot mess.  It lacked any redeeming value, the song was mediocre, his vocals were atrocious, and most predictably, he screeched through half of the song.

For weeks leading up to the release of his CD For Your Entertainment, Adam has posed for provocative photoshoots (kissing girls – oh my!), done provocative interviews (”girls are hot.”), talked about his chubby, bad skinned past, and revealed one of the worst CD covers in recent history.  He has basically done everything possible to generate column inches that will hopefully translate to CD sales. And he’s done it very well.

Entertainment Weekly has given Adam a lot of press coverage lately, first for his supposedly unfair treatment by OUT Magazine’s editor, who wrote an open letter to Adam about his publicist’s request to present him “not too gay.”  Adam said OUT had gone too far, that every gay man is different – that we’re not all the same.  EW seemed to side with Adam.  Regarding Adam’s AMA performance, EW’s resident Idol expert Michael Slezak didn’t like it, while Ken Tucker (who I often agree with) said, “As a TV event, he was splendid.”  Ken even went as far to say that the music was beside the point, that it was Adam’s chance to break free from American Idol.  Hello, Ken?  It was the American MUSIC Awards, not the American TV Awards.

So Adam, last night you asked, “Do you like what you see?”  Well, no I don’t.  And to quote you, all gay men aren’t the same.  Sometimes I prefer someone who doesn’t hide behind a contrived image, who still has depth and “realness” even when the image takes center stage, who can pick up an acoustic guitar and reveal the true song by stripping it down, who doesn’t scream just because he can, who respects the music enough to let a song simply breathe.  Kelly Clarkson’s AMA performance of “Already Gone” is a perfect example of that.  What is most sad to me is that you will probably sell more CD’s than Kris Allen BECAUSE of the things that bug me the most, while never showing the boy behind the makeup and screaming voice. While Kris Allen may not have the pipes you do, he has an honesty and quiet confidence that you don’t.  Maybe you are being honest and I’m simply out of touch.  Perhaps you are what music – and pop culture – has become.  So while you may be here for my entertainment, I will say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

So what do you think?  Did you love his performance?  Hate it?  Think I’m crazy?  Post your comments and let’s discuss.

CD Release Party Wrap Up

So, the CD Release Party is history. I can’t believe it’s already over, but it was such a fun night. It was such a treat to play with such talented musicians. And the audience was very attentive and very fun. I loved hearing you clap and cheer after the songs, I loved hearing you laugh (particularly during “Big Man On Campus”), and I LOVED watching you dance during “Sweat.” I have to give special props to Candace, who came up to the front to dance! Loved it! So thank you for being such a great audience and cheering me on the whole way…even though I forgot part of the words to “Stupid Stuff Like That.” I HATE forgetting words to songs, particularly songs that I wrote (!), but that’s all part of being human, right?

There were a few people I forgot to thank from the stage and I want to make sure to recognize them now.

First, the photographer who took the amazing images used in the SWEAT artwork, Jay Rickard, came down from Indianapolis for the show. As background, I found Jay online a few years ago.  He’s from the general area where all my dad’s family is from – plus he looks a LOT like my grandfather, so I wrote him a few years ago to ask him if we were related. We haven’t done the family search yet, but we are certain we’re distant cousins. We’ve become friends over the years and he told me he wanted to do the photoshoot for the new CD. Anyway, Jay stayed with us during the weekend and it was great catching up with him. Words can not express how grateful I am to him for his love and support, and it was a horrible oversight not to publicly recognize him from the stage. When I saw him at home after the show, my jaw dropped when I realized my mistake and I immedialely apologized. So Jay, I am deeply sorry.  I’ll share more about Jay, as well as outtakes from the Sweat photoshoot, very soon.

I also had several other folks from out of town – my cousin Karen came from Augusta, Dave came up from Ft. Lauderdale, and Ricky came all the way from Minnesota. Thank you for making the trip, for spending time with us at the house, and for making my CD Release extra special.

Danita’s mom also made the SWEAT pins that we gave away that night. That was an unexpected surprise, so I just want to send out a big shout out to them.

Finally, I have two friends who I shared my lyrics with during the writing phase and offered a lot of encouragement - and both of them were there that night. Janice and I have been friends for 13 years and she has been a constant supporter and encourager. Cathy, used to work in the office next to me before she became a mommy. I miss seeing her every day a lot, but am so happy for her.  They were both sounding boards as I was in the writing process.

To wrap up this post, I thought I’d recap the setlist and list the amazing musicians who supported me that night.  Oh, and be sure to check out the Pics page.  There are a LOT of pictures from the CD Release party, with more on the way.

Set List
Wild Blue Beautiful
Anything Of Nothing
Just Like New
When The Hot Cools Down
Only Love
Stupid Stuff Like That
Crawling
This Time Last Year
Forgot To Forget
Big Man On Campus
As If To Say
Natural
Who I Am
Lucky
Goodnight
Sweat (Encore)

Finally, here are the talented musicans I shared the stage with:

Dean Quinter – Drums
Michael Steele – Bass Guitar
Lee Davis – Keyboards
Peter Vogl – Electric Guitar
Dionne Osborne – Vocals
Carmen Ford – Vocals (It was Carmen’s first time EVER singing backup and she did a great job. Happy belated, Carmen!)

Talk To Me Tuesday #8 – Practice Makes Perfect

I’m in the midst of vocal rehearsals. We also had the first full band rehearsal last night. I’m going to be sharing the stage with a stellar group of players. I am SO excited for everyone to hear the new songs. But right now, it’s time for another Talk To Me Tuesday. 

• Adapt your show to the setting. If youre in a bar, do more up-tempo and sing-along cover songs.
• No matter how much noise, there will always be folks in the crowd who will totally listen and get what you’re doing. It is my responsibility to communicate in spite of the setting.
• It is a GREAT feeling to capture people’s attention and bring the noise to a whisper by doing a really quiet song during the right part of a set.

Talk To Me Tuesday #7 – More Song Details

As we get closer to the CD Release, I thought I’d share with you a little bit of random information about a few songs:

When The Hot Cools Down - I wrote this song in Chennai, India. I had been in a bit of a songwriting dry spell and was determined to end it while there. I woke up early one morning and wrote the first draft of the lyrics. I shared it with my friend Sridevi later that day. By the way, it was HOT in Chennai.

Sweat - The first verse contains the line, “Throw up your hands and let yourself scream / Let’s get on the dance floor and blow off some steam.” Inspiration for that line came from a rainy Saturday night in Chattanooga, TN. Eric and I drove up for a friend’s birthday party. We checked into our hotel, met up with our friends, and then went to the party, which was booked as a private function at a downtown bar. The DJ played a lot of older songs and one side of the bar became an impromptu dance floor. Eric does NOT dance. As a joke, I often ask him, “How would you dance to this in the club?” to almost any song. But after a few/several drinks, we hit the dance floor and danced and sang until we were soaked. In all of the years we have been together, that moment is one of my favorite memories because of its simplicity and spontaneity. As a side note, our trip ended rather abruptly. We had asked a neighbor to watch the dogs for us. But Eric woke up in the middle of the night because he realized the neighbor had the wrong key and wouldn’t be able to get into the condo. So we got up, got dressed, checked out and drove back home, thereby cancelling our plans to sightsee the next day. We haven’t been back.  

 

Crawling - I wrote this song several years ago and only performed it once or twice. I really liked it but felt that it wasn’t quite “there,” so I put it to the side. But when it came time for final song selection for SWEAT, I had such a strong feeling about this song - I just couldn’t let it go. After a bit of editing/arranging, I knew it would work. The finished song absolutely blows me away - it has also been a favorite of the folks who worked on or have heard the CD.

Stay tuned for more song details.

Bonus Item 

Take a look at the attached picture. What is its significance?

 

 CD Release Party 

Just a reminder - the CD Release party is at Red Light Cafe on Saturday, October 10, 2009. Doors will open around 7:15 p.m. Admission is $8 per person at the door, $7 if you buy them from my website. I am asking/encouraging everyone to buy their tickets ahead of time because I expect we will pack Red Light.

SWEAT Pre-Orders 

SWEAT is available for preorder for $12. If you preorder a copy, you can pick it up at the CD Release party, or it will be shipped to you free of charge.

VERY IMPORTANT: To get free shipping, enter PARTY into the discount coupon field at checkout. Shipping charges will automatically be deducted. The Store page can be found at www.mikerickard.com by clicking on Store. Or you can access it directly at www.store.mikerickard.com.

THANK YOU to everyone who has bought tickets to the CD Release party and/or pre-ordered SWEAT. I really appreciate it.

Weekly Contest 

I’m holding a free contest and you have the opportunity to win an autographed CD before it’s released. To enter, all you need to do is send me a question (click on the Win Free Stuff tab on www.mikerickard.com). The best question each week will be entered into a drawing for a free autographed CD and is included in the newsletter. The remaining questions are posted on my website. This week, I only received 4 questions. The winning question was submitted by Candace in Atlanta, GA. She is entered into the drawing.

Q. When we first met you had a friend. A friend that I did not like and I told you he was no good for you and you should get rid of him! What is his name? By the way where is he?… lets make this more interesting… where did you meet him? (C.B., Atlanta) 

A. Okay, Candace, you totally stumped me, (I had to call her on the phone to ask for more info because I had NO CLUE who she was talking about), so you have this week’s winning question. And here is your update.

My friend’s name is Templeton. Templeton and I met in 1996 in Denver. Templeton is a big rubber rat (with a squeaker) that I found on a Denver sidewalk. I was there for a computer software conference at the same time the Colorado Avalanche competed against the Florida Panthers for the 1996 Stanley Cup. Apparently the Miami arena had a reputation for having rats (at least that’s what I remember hearing), so the Colorado fans started throwing rubber rats on the ice. When Colorado won, Denver became a big street party scene. The next morning while walking to the conference, I found Templeton on the sidewalk and we’ve been friends ever since.
 

Through the years, Templeton had a habit of coming out of his normal resting spot to sit in the chairs or under the desks of various co-workers and employees. He meant no harm and was often surprised by the shocked, and often loud, reactions from the folks he went to visit.

Templeton is well, but alas, in a resting place. Should I bring him to my CD release party? I’m sure he’d like to see you again.

QUESTION FOR ALL OF YOU - where did Templeton get his name?

Here are the remaining questions, in no particular order:

Q. I love the [CD Cover] jacket, smooth, clean, your name standing out over the title, a very good shot of you looking all firm and fit, very smart package. Now the question, Was this all your idea and doing or did you have some professional help putting it together? I know you went for a photo shoot right after I saw you in June. Did they formulate this with you or did you have the idea and title in your head already. (D.P., Ft. Lauderdale, FL)

 A. The CD cover has two main elements: the photo and the artwork, which were done by two different people. Here’s how they came together.

Photo.  Long before I started recording, I was 99% sure that the title of the CD would be SWEAT. I also knew who the photographer would be. For months, I kept a file of pictures that I liked. I sent them to him, along with an explanation of what I liked about each picture. I then asked him, “What does this say to you? Do you see any themes?” We discussed several theme, clothing, and location options - and indeed, we shot many photos in the studio and several other locations. As far as the image selected for the cover, we were near the end of the shoot and I held out my arms and said, “Take my picture like this.” He did and I asked if it looked stupid. He said it actually looked pretty cool. We played around with the pose a bit and at the end, he told me to put my head down and lift my eyes to the camera. A little while later while reviewing some of the photos he said, “Oh my gosh.” I asked him why, and he said, “This photo.” My first reaction was, “Wow.” The other people who saw it also had a pretty immediate reaction, so it became a pretty easy choice for the cover. If you notice, I haven’t said who the photographer is or provided any details about the photo shoot. I’m saving those details for an upcoming “Talk To Me Tuesday.”

Artwork. I narrowed down the potential photos before we began the artwork. I worked with the art director from Stirred Not Shaken, an extremely talented guy named Doug Chatham. I wanted to approach the artwork for SWEAT differently than Stirred by using bold logos and fonts, nothing too swirly or “artistic.” In addition, I wanted the artwork to reflect energy and action and not look too reflective or “artsy.” Other than the cover photo, I gave him creative control on which pictures to use for the back cover and in the CD booklet (I selected more photos than would fit in the artwork). Doug chose the location of the SWEAT logo and also tilted the image, which really gave the cover a punch. The idea to “wet” the SWEAT logo and put my name on top of it was a collaborative decision over lunch one day. I can’t wait for you to see the rest of the artwork. Doug has the soul and sensitivity of a true artist, plus he’s one of the nicest guys I know.

Q. Did you invite Eric Himan to your CD release? Is he coming? (J.H., Farmersville, CA)

 A. No. While our paths have crossed several times, I would never expect him to come to my CD release. Plus, Eric travels a LOT – I think he does about 150 shows a year. Recently, Eric turned his solo act into a band, Eric & the Adams and is currently touring the west coast. You can find out more information at www.erichiman.com. For those of you who may not know the context of the question, I loved Eric?s most recent CD, Resonate, which is how I discovered his - and now our - producer, Mike Ofca.
 

Q. Which song on your new CD does your boyfriend like best?  (J.H. , Farmersville, CA)

A. At this point, I would probably say, “Only Love” - and probably not for the reason you might think.

Keep the questions coming - man, I had to work HARD this week. Check the blog for the rest of the questions.

Have a good week, and I?ll talk to you next Tuesday! 

SWEAT CD Cover Image

provided by flash-gear.com

 

Talk To Me Tuesday #6 – The Pieces Are Falling Into Place!

CD Cover

Talk To Me Tuesday #5 – Oops!!

Keep reading for details about the CD Release party and SWEAT pre-orders.

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Talk To Me Tuesday #4 – CD Release Info

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Talk To Me Tuesday #3

I am really enjoying the Talk To Me Tuesdays! I hope you are, too.

More CD Details

Last week, I revealed the new CD title, SWEAT. Now I?m going to reveal the name of each track:

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